Why Danny, so cute, but elusive
Ornamental and yet unobtrusive
Preferring to stay
At the end of the day
In locations a tad more exclusive
Why Danny, you see, while there’s cheese
In the pond and the voters to please
You could pop into town
Take the M4 and down
To Devizes (one ‘z’ and two ‘e’s)
Why Danny, you’ve come from above
Like a glorious bright Tory dove
With the light on your wings
And your parachute strings
And a note signed from Boris with love
Why Danny, we’ve hoodies that you
Can hug if you’re so moved to do
And a little white horse
And a Poundland of course
(that’s a ‘P’ and two ‘d’s and a ‘u’)
Why Danny, we wish you were here
Come the day will you even appear
Perhaps in The Bear
Or the Pelican, yeah
Bet you won’t pop in there for a beer
Why Danny, Devizes is nice
But in Wiltshire there’s mud and there’s ice
And Hammersmith’s so
Very pleasant you know
(Spell Devizes? One ‘D’ and ‘e’ twice)
Why Danny, you’re cute enough, true
But you’re Boris’s man through and through
And you’ll only appear
About four times a year
(There’s no ‘u’ in Devizes. Who knew)
© Gail Foster 4th December 2019
UPDATE: This morning, much to my surprise, I received a poetic retort from Danny Kruger (see below). Whilst I won’t be voting for him, one has to say Well Played.
Leaving Brexit Behind Us Forever
Why Gail, so full of surprises!
Thanks for the tips on spelling Devizes
I’m sure that we’ve met
But I haven’t seen yet
Through one of your many disguises
Are you the farmer from Manton who said
Have Defra gone off their head?
They’ve banned neonics
(The fleabeetle fix)
And so half my rape crop is dead
Or were you the soldier who proudly explained
This is how Yeomen are trained:
We leave them out in the rain
For a month on the Plain
And those that survive are retained
Perhaps you’re the teacher from Oare
Who said schools badly need more
Money – they’ll get it!
Sajid has said it!
The Budget will cough up for sure
But seriously, Gail, I’ll endeavour
To bring our country together
We’re badly divided
(Did you vote Leave? I did)
And I want Brexit behind us for ever
© Danny Kruger 6th December 2019
