‘Binface!’ Cried Nigel, and spat
His croissant all over the cat
‘Don’t they know who I am?’
Spitting heritage ham
And some jam with Cointreau on the mat
‘Binface, for fuck’s sake!’ He said
With his mouth full and face going red
Spilling café au lait
For the fourth time that day
And the veins bulging out of his head
‘Binface! He’s only a bin!
Don’t they know who I am? It’s a sin
It’s as if I’m a joke
Not a serious bloke
Who can trouser five million and win!’
‘Binface, for fuck’s sake! Who’s he?’
He looks like a bin, mate, to me
Thought the cat as he went
To the cupboard and sent
His report to Sky News and AP
‘Binface!’ The egg on his face
Was rolling and gathering pace
And ran down his chin
What there was of it. ‘Bin!
With a face! What a total disgrace!’
‘Binface!’ The record was stuck
So he ordered some lemons to suck
And sat feeling bitter
A while on the shitter
Without having very much luck
‘Binface! He’s dressed as a knight!
And his armour is catching the light
And I just have a suit
And some bullshit!’ So cute
Thought the cat, and more fun stuff to write
‘Binface! B- Binface! He’s not
Even serious! What has he got?
I get selfies with Trump
While he goes to the dump
He’s got no dosh and I’ve got a lot!’
‘Binface! What madness is this!’
Said Nigel, and started to hiss
Turning into the snake
That he was. Couldn’t take
It, they said, people taking the piss
‘Binface!’ They said on the news
‘What a glorious victor to choose
And so cool, with a chin
You can see yourself in!
(Not like Nigel. You loser. You lose)’
© Gail Foster 8th July 2026
Writing
Oestrogen Mythology
*
Beware, for she writes poetry, and ye
Unwitting pilgrim, may become a king
Anointed at the new moon, in the spring
Within an oestrogen mythology
Take care, for she writes poetry, and thee
Good man, may move her blood and heart to sing
Be crowned with oak leaves, bound within the ring
Become her ovulation fantasy
…
She fair may be, but subject to the pull
Of hormones, gravity, and tidal flow
She makes her heroes, though unconsciously
From those who touch her when the moon is full
She’ll cry and tear her hair out when you go
And pen progesterone tragedy
*
© Gail Foster 7th September 2016
Potatoes
*
We shall have to eat potatoes with our meagre humble pie
Sit chilly in our garrets writing verse until we die
Sacrifice our sanity, relationships, and health
Forego all thoughts of kudos, recognition, comfort, wealth
To draw the light from darkness, and to write upon the page
Words of painful beauty, words of love, and myth, and rage
To be alchemical, polemical; be vulnerable, be bold
Make magic from mundanity, and turn the dross to gold
To be poor, but to be Poets, who shall ever blessed be
For we possess potatoes and the power of poetry
*
© Gail Foster 2016
Here Speaks The Magic Work Of Raymond John
Inspired by the writings of Raymond John Burt…
Here speaks the magic work of Raymond John
Intrigue in reference, delight in phrase
I’m curious as to what, my friend, you’re on
That powers your pen to so the mind amaze
Let he that has an ear be still and hear
Let she who has an eye seek out the light
For here some crazy wisdom doth appear
On wild wings of angels in the night
For Love and God and Death and Grace and Hell
Within your words take buttered toast and tea
More syllabub, Beelzebub? Pray tell
What syllables might set the Sibyls free
Get thee behind me, ghosts, take flight, be gone!
Here speaks the magic work of Raymond John
© Gail from Devizes 2016
Serving the Grail; for Brad Combs
Brad is admin of the Writers’ Group on Facebook…
*
A kindly sword and savage pen
Are the marks of a writer and leader of men
Blessed be he who came to teach
The wildness of wisdom and freedom of speech
Where fainter hearts might fall and fail
He stands to serve the Writer’s Grail
This ancient sage; this humble youth
This herder of cats; this teller of truth
Is he we know and love as Brad
Our literary Galahad
*
by Gail
Satire and The Soul
Kevan Manwaring, in his book The Bardic Handbook, suggests that we
satirise ourselves in order to see how it feels…
With satire comes responsibility
Thus spake the bard, regarding cosmic law
‘Tis true that thought and act and speech are free
But heed the truth learned by the bards of yore
What goes around and round will soon return
To that dark human place where it began
And pain shall be the lesson he shall learn
Who points his pen in anger at a man
Lest he forget, we none of us shine bright
That are not sullied by some silent shade
And he who seeks another man to slight
May curse the pen that bore the words he made
For what we see in others, we have known
Some simple human neediness or greed
The weakness we perceive is like our own
Who knows a tree that has not seen a seed
So satirise yourself, so spake the bard
Before you dare another man to mock
And turn upon yourself a light as hard
As that with which you wish a man to shock
Unshadow your shortcomings, write them true
Or fall upon your failings like a sword
For this is what you would to others do
And thine own self hast thine own pen ignored
Now weigh the pain you draw like blood from light
With cut of blade, of swift and vicious pen
Look down upon yourself from lofty height
As you would fain look down on other men
What do you see, but merely flesh and fear
A naked frightened soul that cries for love
All sorrow bound and clothed in darkness drear
With eyes up turned in hope to light above
Have pity, spake the bard, for every word
You wield will have the power to wound or heal
Remember what you here have seen and heard
Think twice before you cause a man to feel
The lacerations of your jagged wit
The schadenfreude of your savage ire
Lest you be made to join him in the pit
Lest you be so consumed in that same fire
He snuffed the candle flame, picked up his book
And left the poet, wise from sorrow shown
An unveiled mirror’s face in which to look
At imperfection that was his alone
With satire comes responsibility
For what goes forth returns, of that be sure
And you are that which you in others see
The naked frightened soul the poet saw
by Gail
A quick thank you
I just want to express my gratitude to the people who follow and like my posts
Time is a precious thing
Thank you so much for spending some of your time reading and looking at my work
It means a lot to me
Gail
x
Cyber W*nk
The following rhyme contains sexual references
It was written in response to a provocative post in an online writers’ group
*
You took a break from masturbation
To indulge in provocation
Badly judged, son, what bad luck
For most of us don’t give a f*ck
Now that you’ve expressed your issues
Best clean up with man sized tissues
We’re writers, kid, we’re hard as nails
Pointless posts and epic fails
Provide our mills with grist to write
For we make gold dust out of sh*te
So thanks for your ejaculate
If you were hoping for some hate
You’ll get some now, so good for you
You’ll get some love and humour too
And feedback and some cyber hugging
…
Have you logged off now?
Bet you’re tugging…
*
by Gail