Elon had a little sink And quite a lot of Twitter A Starlink and a skating rink And gold encrusted shitter I'd give it all up in a blink He said, and not be bitter If I had farts that didn't stink And tarts that didn't titter Elon did a lot of farts And most of them were smelly Distracting him from all the arts He liked to watch on telly And darts - he did like watching darts And reading Machiavelli While reaching down to touch the parts He hid beneath his belly Elon liked the ladies so And ladies liked his money He wished they wouldn't titter though At things that were not funny It's not the time for jokes you know He'd say, make like a bunny And - oh! - don't interrupt my flow Don't titter at me honey Elon had a massive head And doors he had to widen An IQ higher than, he said The tide that he was ridin' But when he snuggled in his bed He'd no-one to confide in Except his teddy, Little Ted And poster of Joe Biden Elon quite liked Donald Trump And Putin, or whoever Was popular that he could hump To make himself look clever And if they cut him off he'd dump Them instantly, forever And never let them kiss his rump Again. Or nearly never Elon had the notion that He was the true Messiah Jesus, he'd say, was a twat And my IQ is higher And I'm the King of Twitter, sat Above all that desire Me even though my head is fat And I may be a liar Elon. Onle. Leon. Nole - Who knows what you equate to You say you'll root out every troll But who knows what will fate do World domination is your goal And nothing less will sate you Beware behind the grassy knoll The ego that creates you © Gail Foster 28th October 2022
Power
Cummingsland
What land is this where we allow
The likes of Cummings to be king
All England bow and kiss his ring
For this is Cummings’ country now
What land is this where we allow
One man to say if birds can sing
Or bells be rung, or bees can sting
Must this be Cummings’ country now?
What land is this where we allow
The likes of Cummings to dictate
Are we the masters of our fate
Or is this Cummings’ country now?
What trick of light, what sleight of hand
Turned England into Cummingsland?
Good men of England, take a bow
For this is Cummings’ country now
© Gail Foster 14th February 2020
The Last Dark Magic of the Keys
*
The time is now, you said, let it be done
I come to cause you one last piece of pain
You chose a day in summer when the rain
Fell soft upon the road like private tears
To work the last dark magic of the keys
…
There was a time, and not so long ago
I held your key like Smegal held the Ring
As if the holding of it meant some thing
Some plastic crucifix, some rabbit’s foot
Some lucky anchor in the wild seas
…
The time has come, you say, for you and me
To stand before each other one more time
In some symbolic moment quite sublime
Where I shall fall before you like the rain
Like some dead broken rose, upon my knees
…
There was a time, not very long ago
You had the key to me, and to my door
But all your rights to me you have forswore
And I shall fain deny you this last wish
To see my tears, and your dark purpose please
…
For now the time is mine, so come, and go
Come find your key beneath my Welcome mat
Beneath a grey rock under gaslight sat
Before a door forever locked to thee
For I have for mine own heart mine own key
*
© Gail Foster 2016
Phoenix Rose; for Lisa Lewis
Lisa Lewis is the CEO of Doorway in Chippenham
She’s a legend. Just don’t mess with her, right…
*
Don’t mess with Lisa, she’s a scary
Far out full on punky fairy
Crowned with violent flowers and sage
And riding on her harnessed rage
Through tangled wood and thorny bower
To speak unsubtle truth to power
…
Don’t mess with Lisa, man, she’s scary
Wise be wise and fools be wary
For she will tread where no man goes
To seek those things that no one knows
Expect no mercy if you cross her
Best be right and not a tosser
…
Don’t mess with Lisa, she’s so scary
Medusa crossed with Virgin Mary
Bottle, balls, and Occam’s razor
Prosecco, throttle up, and tazer
Wild light to make a diamond shy
And tears forbidden from her eye
…
Don’t mess with Lisa, man, she’s scary
That’s one well effective fairy
Pierced with wisdom to the bone
Dark metal angel stood alone
Feared and loved by all she knows
A phoenix, from the darkness rose
*
© Gail Foster 2016
Her Voice; for Alex Lascelles
Alex Lascelles had a twinkle in her eye and one of the most powerful reading voices I have ever heard; her funeral is being held this Friday, at the church of St. John the Baptist in Devizes, at 2.45pm. Rest in peace, lady.
*
*
When Alex Lascelles
Did the readings at church
Her deep ancient voice
Like a dignified drum
Sounded like God
*
by Gail