Elon Had A Little Sink

Elon had a little sink
And quite a lot of Twitter
A Starlink and a skating rink
And gold encrusted shitter
I'd give it all up in a blink
He said, and not be bitter
If I had farts that didn't stink
And tarts that didn't titter

Elon did a lot of farts
And most of them were smelly
Distracting him from all the arts
He liked to watch on telly
And darts - he did like watching darts
And reading Machiavelli
While reaching down to touch the parts
He hid beneath his belly

Elon liked the ladies so
And ladies liked his money
He wished they wouldn't titter though
At things that were not funny
It's not the time for jokes you know
He'd say, make like a bunny
And - oh! - don't interrupt my flow
Don't titter at me honey

Elon had a massive head
And doors he had to widen
An IQ higher than, he said
The tide that he was ridin'
But when he snuggled in his bed
He'd no-one to confide in
Except his teddy, Little Ted 
And poster of Joe Biden

Elon quite liked Donald Trump
And Putin, or whoever
Was popular that he could hump 
To make himself look clever
And if they cut him off he'd dump
Them instantly, forever
And never let them kiss his rump
Again. Or nearly never

Elon had the notion that
He was the true Messiah
Jesus, he'd say, was a twat
And my IQ is higher
And I'm the King of Twitter, sat
Above all that desire
Me even though my head is fat
And I may be a liar

Elon. Onle. Leon. Nole -
Who knows what you equate to
You say you'll root out every troll
But who knows what will fate do
World domination is your goal
And nothing less will sate you
Beware behind the grassy knoll
The ego that creates you

© Gail Foster 28th October 2022

Cummingsland

What land is this where we allow
The likes of Cummings to be king
All England bow and kiss his ring
For this is Cummings’ country now

What land is this where we allow
One man to say if birds can sing
Or bells be rung, or bees can sting
Must this be Cummings’ country now?

What land is this where we allow
The likes of Cummings to dictate
Are we the masters of our fate
Or is this Cummings’ country now?

What trick of light, what sleight of hand
Turned England into Cummingsland?
Good men of England, take a bow
For this is Cummings’ country now

© Gail Foster 14th February 2020

The Last Dark Magic of the Keys

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The time is now, you said, let it be done

I come to cause you one last piece of pain

You chose a day in summer when the rain

Fell soft upon the road like private tears

To work the last dark magic of the keys

There was a time, and not so long ago

I held your key like Smegal held the Ring

As if the holding of it meant some thing

Some plastic crucifix, some rabbit’s foot

Some lucky anchor in the wild seas

The time has come, you say, for you and me

To stand before each other one more time

In some symbolic moment quite sublime

Where I shall fall before you like the rain

Like some dead broken rose, upon my knees

There was a time, not very long ago

You had the key to me, and to my door

But all your rights to me you have forswore

And I shall fain deny you this last wish

To see my tears, and your dark purpose please

For now the time is mine, so come, and go

Come find your key beneath my Welcome mat

Beneath a grey rock under gaslight sat

Before a door forever locked to thee

For I have for mine own heart mine own key

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© Gail Foster 2016

 

Phoenix Rose; for Lisa Lewis

 

Lisa Lewis is the CEO of Doorway in Chippenham

She’s a legend.  Just don’t mess with her, right…

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Don’t mess with Lisa, she’s a scary

Far out full on punky fairy

Crowned with violent flowers and sage

And riding on her harnessed rage

Through tangled wood and thorny bower

To speak unsubtle truth to power

Don’t mess with Lisa, man, she’s scary

Wise be wise and fools be wary

For she will tread where no man goes

To seek those things that no one knows

Expect no mercy if you cross her

Best be right and not a tosser

Don’t mess with Lisa, she’s so scary

Medusa crossed with Virgin Mary

Bottle, balls, and Occam’s razor

Prosecco, throttle up, and tazer

Wild light to make a diamond shy

And tears forbidden from her eye

Don’t mess with Lisa, man, she’s scary

That’s one well effective fairy

Pierced with wisdom to the bone

Dark metal angel stood alone

Feared and loved by all she knows

A phoenix, from the darkness rose

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© Gail Foster 2016

 

Her Voice; for Alex Lascelles

Alex Lascelles had a twinkle in her eye and one of the most powerful reading voices I have ever heard; her funeral is being held this Friday, at the church of St. John the Baptist in Devizes, at 2.45pm.  Rest in peace, lady.

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When Alex Lascelles

Did the readings at church

Her deep ancient voice

Like a dignified drum

Sounded like God

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by Gail