Elon Had A Little Sink

Elon had a little sink
And quite a lot of Twitter
A Starlink and a skating rink
And gold encrusted shitter
I'd give it all up in a blink
He said, and not be bitter
If I had farts that didn't stink
And tarts that didn't titter

Elon did a lot of farts
And most of them were smelly
Distracting him from all the arts
He liked to watch on telly
And darts - he did like watching darts
And reading Machiavelli
While reaching down to touch the parts
He hid beneath his belly

Elon liked the ladies so
And ladies liked his money
He wished they wouldn't titter though
At things that were not funny
It's not the time for jokes you know
He'd say, make like a bunny
And - oh! - don't interrupt my flow
Don't titter at me honey

Elon had a massive head
And doors he had to widen
An IQ higher than, he said
The tide that he was ridin'
But when he snuggled in his bed
He'd no-one to confide in
Except his teddy, Little Ted 
And poster of Joe Biden

Elon quite liked Donald Trump
And Putin, or whoever
Was popular that he could hump 
To make himself look clever
And if they cut him off he'd dump
Them instantly, forever
And never let them kiss his rump
Again. Or nearly never

Elon had the notion that
He was the true Messiah
Jesus, he'd say, was a twat
And my IQ is higher
And I'm the King of Twitter, sat
Above all that desire
Me even though my head is fat
And I may be a liar

Elon. Onle. Leon. Nole -
Who knows what you equate to
You say you'll root out every troll
But who knows what will fate do
World domination is your goal
And nothing less will sate you
Beware behind the grassy knoll
The ego that creates you

© Gail Foster 28th October 2022

Katie Hopkins; Wild Redemption

 

Katie Hopkins, what a bitch

She really makes my innards itch

She’s paid to spit and vent her bile

Her views are simply crass and vile

The woman thinks that refugees

Should all die screaming in the seas

And now she is an educator?

Well, Brunel students sure don’t rate her

Poor Katie got no praise or thanks

Just fifty silent backs in ranks

Her thoughts upon the welfare state

Perceived to be just tosh and hate

They sent her straight to Coventry

A damned good place for her to be

She’s blaming social media

For everyone is wrong but her

Not like she’s a cow at all

Or cares if pride precedes a fall

As long as she still earns a wad

She’ll carry on like some bad God

Dispensing poison, spitting blood

Dragging free speech through the mud

In years gone by our ears would twitch

A mob would rise and kill the witch

But that was then, and this is now

Best to simply shun the cow

For centuries of love and learning

Persuade us Katie’s not for burning

She’s bound to go too far one day

For Karma’s not a bitch to play

Eternal justice, endless fall

Oh, Katie won’t like that at all

Forever with the evil dead, and

Haunted, by the things she’s said

*

Do you really want that, Kate?

It’s not too late to recreate

In love there’s simply no exemption

Just endless joy and wild redemption…

 

by Gail