Who are the British people anyway?
The ones who with Conservatives agree
And only them? Are we allowed to be
The people now? Are we allowed to say
A word against the government today?
Free speech, you say, but not the BBC
It’s not for that you pay the licence fee
To let the lefty woke get in the way
The who? The woke, the liberal elite
The Linekers, the Attenboroughs, you
And every other person in your street
Who disagrees with what the Tories do
Be quiet you, while we turn up the heat
It’s not as if you’re British people too
© Gail Foster 10th March 2023
Division
The Day That Brexit Broke My Brain
The day that Brexit broke my brain
The sun was shining I recall
And in my head there was a pain
The day that Brexit broke my brain
The voices came and said again
‘Dividing, all dividing, all’
The day that Brexit broke my brain
The sun was shining I recall
Last night I stayed up late to see
Our Parliament in disarray
And dreams of Bedlam came to me
Last night I stayed up late to see
The frenzy and insanity
That’s Britain as it is today
Last night I stayed up late to see
Our Parliament in disarray
‘Division!’ And again the call
The knell of the division bell
Dividing, all dividing, all
‘Division!’ And again the call
And all divided and we fall
In broken pieces into hell
‘Division!’ And again the call
The knell of the division bell
The sun is out and you may sing
Your hopeful songs with fingers crossed
And wonder what today will bring
The sun is out and you may sing
Of hope and keep on whistling
My voices say that hope is lost
The sun is out and you may sing
Your hopeful songs with fingers crossed
The day that Brexit broke my brain
The sun was shining I recall
And in my head there was a pain
The day that Brexit broke my brain
The voices came and said again
‘Dividing, all dividing, all’
The day that Brexit broke my brain
The sun was shining I recall
© Gail Foster 26th March 2019
Brexit Backstab Bitchfest
*
There once was a government who
Were divided and hadn’t a clue
How to manage the exit
From Europe and Brexit
You first. Oh no, after you.
…
There once was a government who
Were at war. It was blue upon blue
As they edged down the halls
With their backs to the walls
You first. Oh no, after you.
…
There once was a government who
Were divided and nobody knew
What to do, so they bitched
And they backstabbed and stitched
Up each other. You first. After you.
*
© Gail Foster 12th September 2018
Humpty Trumpty
*
Humpty Trumpty built up a wall
Of hatred and bullshit, in no time at all
So full of hot air and albumen
Bumptious Numpty
An egg amongst men
…
Trumpty Bumptious, sat on his wall
Infusing the air with a sulphurous pall
Obdurate ovoid, and odious smell
Truly Trumptious
The egg from hell
…
Rambunctious Trumpty, sat on his wall
A slug on his own at an ugly bug ball
Blot on the skyline, and bombastic bore
Humpty Dumptious
An egg to ignore
…
Dumpty Trumpty, sat on his wall
The King of the Fools looking down on the small
Dark is his shadow and yellow his yolk
Unctuous Humpty
The egg that spoke
…
Trumpty the Numpty, sat on his wall
Stirring the winds of the world to a squall
Summoning forces too violent to quell
Presumptious Trumpty
A shit in a shell
…
Humpety Trumpety, sat on his wall
Spitting out poison and hubris and gall
As stable and safe as a knife on a ledge
Precarious Numpty
An egg on the edge
…
Trumpty the Terrible, sat on his wall
The sun on his hair and the land in his thrall
Waiting to hatch from his keratin keg
Horrible Humpty
The dangerous egg
…
Humpty Trumpty; the egg with a plan
To set race against race, and man against man
Let us conjure a mischievous wind to unseat him
Fry him in Mexican spices
And eat him
*
© Gail Foster 2nd Sept 2016
Owen Smith Doth Take The Pith
*
I’m not impressed by Owen Smith
Methinks that he doth take the pith
Just wasn’t sure until today
What moved me so to feel this way
…
Today; the leadership debate
I didn’t have too long to wait
Once you’ve seen it, it’s distracting
Owen Smith is over-acting
…
See him roll his sleeves up there?
He’s channelling a bit of Blair
Then he’s Harry Potter, then
He’s Brutus dressed as Mister Benn
…
Jazz hands. What’s that all about?
Turn it down, no need to shout
For no-one needs a politician
Who thinks he’s at a Glee audition
…
Now Jeremy, he plays it calmer
More yer kitchen sink type drama
Monochrome, with moody stare
More Alan Bennett, to be fair
…
Owen’s acting sounds to me
Like desperate soliloquy
His every cliché rings a bell
And all his soundbites bore as well
…
I reckon Owen Smith’s a fake
He’s on the stage the pith to take
Off, off, and let the curtain fall
I don’t trust Owen Smith at all
*
© Gail Foster 18th August 2016
All Out For In, Boys; Vote Remain
*
I’m all out for In, Boys, I’m all out for In
I’ll not consign dear Europe to the bonfire or the bin
We’ve fought too many flippin’ wars to call this thing a day
And isn’t such division just a little bit passé?
We’re a tiny little island, all surrounded by the sea
And the days of the Empire are consigned to history
Let’s not be cast adrift, Boys, in some Captain Pugwash boat
Vote to stay in Europe, Boys, it won’t dry up the moat
What say you? Immigration? What, the white ones or the black?
Which ones, which precisely, are you wanting to send back?
The ones who work for naff all cash, in dirt and sweat and mud?
Or the ones who ran from ISIS just to save their children’s blood?
What say you? Benefits? Well now, you’d best look in to that
It isn’t quite that easy for them all to get a flat
There’s rules to do with public funds, and residence as well
And doesn’t all that tax evasion leave a nasty smell?
And what about Intelligence, and Military Alliance
Employment, the Economy, and Human Rights compliance?
What will happen if we leave, well, lovely Boys, it won’t be pretty
There’ll be rhetoric on rhetoric, committee on committee
And all of flippin’ Europe will be looking down its nose
“You’re not with us, you’re against us” will be how the anthem goes
And Boris, hey don’t start me off, don’t listen to the bloke
Unless you went to Eton you’re the punchline of his joke
“More Bolly, Boris?” “Do you know, I don’t mind if I do
Oh dear, I fear I’ve drunk the lot, and now there’s none for you”
And Dave isn’t much better, though he’s talking far more sense
Hey, even Ms Claire Perry’s on the right side of the fence
And what about the Berlin Wall, the night that it came down
You could hear the cheers from Germany from old Devizes Town
We all thought that was progress, some sure sign of evolution
How can leaving Europe be a sensible solution?
And would you trust the Government to sell you a used car?
I’d rather have them supervised by Europe, thank you, ta
So, Votey McVote Face, it’s all down to you
I’m all out for In, Boys, and I hope that you are too
*
© Gail Foster 2016
God Help the Disunited States
Call for the Dalai Lama, Christ
Mohammed, and the Fates
Call the Druids, call the Rabbis
Call the angels, and their mates
Call the scientists, the physicists
To measure and collate
Call psychologists who understand
And artists who create
Call the clowns who see things sideways
And the writers who narrate
Get them sitting round a table, midst
The wildly spinning plates
With biscuits, tea, and fairy cakes
And someone to translate
Doing icebreakers, and mindfulness
And role play, and debate
And let them come up with a miracle
This madness to abate
To stop the Trump thing in his tracks
Or trip him on a trait
For Hilary’s annoying
And her shiny hardness grates
But Trump will make the USA
A horrid hell of hate
Let’s hope that this committee
Of all the good and great
Who wield the wisdom of the world
And spiritual weight
Can devise some cosmic strategy
The Trump thing to deflate
Before America becomes
The Disunited States
© Gail Foster 2016
gailfromdevizes 