Farewell Father Jack; a clerihew

Father Jack is a character in an English/Irish sitcom called Father Ted, which is about Catholic priests living on an island. The joke of Father Jack is that he is always drunk and, when he is not being hidden from visiting clergy, just sits in his chair spitting expletives. Today Frank Kelly, the actor who played him so brilliantly, died. The English clerihew is a good form with which to pay him tribute.

So, farewell then, Father Jack
Let this be writ upon a plaque
“All things pass;
Drink, feck, arse…”

by Gail

Florence’s Pie

Sir Terry Wogan and Mason McQueen take a tasty trip round town…


No traffic jam when Terry came

No culinary surprise

He used his loaf and found some cheese

When munching round The Vize

He and his little Mason friend

Had breakfast at The Bear

Sausage, bacon, beans an ting

No revelation there

Terry chewed the fat a bit

And did a bit of walking

A bit of pork, a bit of cake

And pudding (now you’re talking)

The flight of locks left Terry cold

He didn’t eat the quackers

Then things got quite interesting

When John got out his clackers

And hold on there is Florence

Making Olde Vizes Pie

Terry’s buds are tickled now

A stuffed fox winks an eye


So cheers for that then, Terry, mate

You put our town on telly

But next time have some lardy

And get rat ars*d in the Pelly


by Gail

(For Florence from The Black Swan

and the Unusual John Girvan)