One day I went to Morrisons

Forgot to take a map

I only wanted beans and buns

And bog roll for a cr*p

Got lost by the ladies things

Forgot my North and South

I didn’t come for flapping wings

Or stuff to wash the mouth

It’s just as bad in Sainsburys

Perhaps it is my age

The fruitless quest for herbal teas

Just puts me in a rage

I’m far too flipping old for these

Daily shopping trials

I’m sweating like a Stilton cheese

Lost in the British aisles

Maybe home delivery?

Should I? Do I dare?

Become a couch potato

Fat arsed, shopping from my chair

I’d miss the talking checkout though

And cheery orange bags

My unexpected items

And my special pricey fags

I’m hard, I can handle it

I’m such a little trooper

And while I’m there I’ll have a sh*t

Markets. Simply Super.

 *

by Gail