You Can’t Take It With You

 

No one likes me any more

The wife and cat have fled

But I’ve got a wide screen telly

At the bottom of my bed

I was never very generous

Some folk called me tight

But I’ve got a wide screen telly

That keeps me warm at night

I kept up with the Joneses

I’m the rat that won the race

I got the biggest one I could

To rub it in their face

Now my only mates are Jeremy

And that nice girl Lorraine Kelly

They really look enormous

On an extra massive telly

Sometimes I feel lonely

In a world that’s really tiny

But at least I’ve got a telly

That is really big and shiny

Tonight I saw The Reaper

At the bottom of my bed

“Can I bring the telly with me?”

“No” he said