Putin had a little coup
He hadn’t been expecting
While lurking in a Russian loo
Attempting his erecting
Damn Prighozin! I nearly had
A hard on. Proper stonker
And now it’s gone I’m feeling sad
Said Putin. What a plonker
He shut his eyes and tried again
He dressed as Betty Grable
He tried remembering the men
He’d had across his table
But nothing. Except Prighozin
Appearing. Maskirovka!
Said Putin. For the veil was thin
Or was it too much vodka
Fuck Prighozin. Said Putin and
Hey presto! An erection
Three inches in his little hand
Relief and resurrection
He smiled his special Putin smile
And raised an eyebrow slightly
(Been having Botox for a while
A little prick twice nightly)
The work was done, and that was it
Successful masturbation
And finally a face to fit
His special operation
Much prettier than Volodymyr
Zelensky who, said Putin
I tried to take right up the rear
But then he put the boot in
Knock, knock. Who’s there? It’s Prighozin
Come in and have some vodka!
Said Putin. For the veil was thin
Or was it Maskirovka
© Gail Foster 24th June 2023
Vladimir Putin
Putin Had A Little Gun
Putin had a little gun Some vodka and a sock And planned to have a massive wank But couldn't find his cock It never had been very big But now it was so small He couldn't find the fucking thing At all Putin had a little gun Nostalgia and psychosis And rather, so was rumoured round A profound halitosis And everywhere he went he left An atmosphere and smell And a little pile of unused socks As well Putin had a little gun Delusions and an army And plans to overtake the world That were quite frankly barmy He'd always had his issues And been proudly narcissistic But now he couldn't come he went Ballistic Putin had a little gun A lovely shiny table A hidden room in which he liked To dress as Betty Grable A wardrobe full of furry coats And rather fetching hats And an oubliette in which he kept Dead cats Putin had a little gun It really was frustrating 'I only vant' he said, 'to spend My evening masturbating I've fantasies of papering My Betty room with jizz But I don't know where my tiny Penis is' Putin had a little gun Some missiles and some tanks And plans to rule the Western world And crack off lots of wanks The best laid plans of mice and men Can oft go badly wrong Especially when you can't find your Dong Putin had a little gun Some vodka and a sock A nuclear intention And a lot of novichok Some thermobaric weapons That were frighteningly hot And a tiny flaccid penis that Was not Putin had a little gun It often is the case That sexual frustration Undermines the human race Humiliate a little man And dare to mock and scoff And he'll soon find something else he can Crack off Putin had a little gun 'I vant to rule the vorld!' He pouted in his mirror With his top lip slightly curled It used to work much better when He dressed as Betty Grable But yet again he found himself Unable © Gail Foster 28th February 2022
gailfromdevizes 